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The Trendy Millennial

I spent the first half of the week waking up, soaking in the shower to wash away the disgust of existence before deciding it was futile, shutting off the alarm, and crawling back into bed. Today, Wednesday March 5, 2014, after being talked into shot gunning the last of a bottle of UV Blue Raspberry last night, I woke up, showered, and got dressed. I went upstairs, had a shot of vodka, drank a large amount of dark roast highly caffeinated coffee, smoked a cig, and went to class.

My coffee/nicotine/vodka morning cocktail skipped wake up and bulldozed right into PANIC. A chance run in with the one night stand did not help. Is this what it’s going to be like being a millennial, not having a healthy relationship, or diet for that matter. That’s what I am, right? A 20-something, part time college student, part time fast food worker, part time trying to figure it all out; that’s what a millennial is, correct? It’s this current generation. And I’m one of them. I guess, I’m a trendy millennial? I write and I consider myself at least a sad excuse for an artist. I think that’s a thing, the Trendy Millennial. Well, it is now.

What makes you a millennial? I say, if you’re of bill paying/Job having/only following laws and no longer rules – age, then you’re a millennial. I am, all of those things.

It sucks. I’d say, if any of these apply to you, you might be a Millennial:

  • If you get home from work on Sunday night and watch Girls – You might be a millennial.
  • If Monday rolls around and you roll out of bed saying your daily mantra, “Fuck, dude.” – you could be a millennial.
  • If Tuesday through Thursday you worry yourself sick about how you’re going to pay rent – maybe a millennial.
  • Friday you’ve given up and spend your night hoping to catch the eye of ANYONE at a friend of a friend’s party – possibly a millennial.
  • And then you wake up Saturday – alone, at square one, hung over and probably regretting some decision from the night before – YOU’RE A MILLENNIAL.
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