You’re Gone And I Gotta Stay High All The Time

I can feel my chest rise and fall with the thought of you in my lungs. I dreamed I had your scars, when I woke up he was sleeping next to me and I wanted to cry. Why aren’t you warming the mattress beside me? It was suppose to be you. It’s been 18 days and several hours. Without you in my life I feel like there is no gravity. Without the weight of this sadness, I think I’d float away.
It was suppose to be you who loved my freckles. You broke my heart. You disappeared. You were a star and I watched you explode and here on earth I still feel the impression of you when the sun goes down and I’m left alone on this couch.
You were so angry, let me fix you. Scratch that, there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing to change. I’ll drown with you, I’ll join you in your inevitable downfall. I’ll go to hell and back with you.
Say something. Where are you? I am screaming into the atmosphere, why can’t you feel the vibrations? If you cared for me so much why can’t you feel this sadness radiating off of me? You should be doubled over, the fact that you caused this pain should make you feel it twice as much as I do.
This is it, this is what happens when you fall into the arms of a boy who says he’ll hurt you. A boy who shines like the sun and burns just as badly if you get too close.
I dreamed that I was just like you, and I enjoyed it. And that makes me wonder – if you get too close to the sun, do you want to burn?


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