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under that street lamp

Under that street lamp

Wish I could go back

Before anyone had touched me

Before anyone had hurt me

Under that street lamp

In the warm glow

With cigarette smoke in my lungs

Burning my throat

Fresh snow falling on my face as I stare up

Under that street lamp

thinking I was strong

thinking I was tough

How wrong was I

Under that street lamp

With a friend I barely speak to any longer

but admire from afar

envying his life and his happiness

knowing all the lore about how the grass isn’t always greener

but who cares as long as it looks greener from your shitty lawn?

Under that street lamp

I didn’t imagine this future for myself

Or maybe I did

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